The Color of the End

The color of the end of something sort of fades out, it is not solid, but rather blends from brilliant to hazy. All the memory, emotion, time, dedication, hours spent thinking about, working on, and creating are dust, the remnants of what was. There is something that happens out of the end of something though, newness arises slowly like the dawning of a new day, with glimpses of vibrant shades emerging out of the dust.

The consciousness of one's innermost self is a delicate and complex entity that must be treated so. One thing I have been experiencing is the deepening of my own core. When I go beyond my comfort zone, when I reach farther than I think I know how, a whole new space opens up, one that is mine alone, that can't be touched by influences from the world outside of myself. This is the place I call home no matter where I am. Whether I be among family in my hometown, in a park alone reading myself into my professional future, hiking to the top of small mountains in Korea soaking up the sun, on trains across the European continent, traversing the streets of a city too big to call one city, cooped up in my room, or among friends in a far too smokey bar listening to music that makes my body move. The only way I can explain this place is like an expanding shell that shelters me by enveloping more and more of the world until I can see no difference between myself and anything else. This is a place where compassion overlaps any other feeling in the spectrum of human emotion.

The more I experience, the less I want to judge. When I think something is unfair, hurtful, overwhelming, or simply undesirable, if I give myself time to feel and let go, I am able to see beyond and in this way a softening of myself occurs, allowing me to move forward in an ebb and flow that helps me grow. Sometimes this requires connection with others, but often this is something I seek in the solace of my own company. By deepening my personal bond, I am able to see more clearly and interact with others out of this place of internal stability.

The colors that paint the end of each little era in one's life are reflected in the coming moments of existence. They bridge the gap between the death of things gone by and the birth of new experiences that are falling into place.